Cranberry Moms

Since being a stay at home mom I’ve discovered that the one thing I miss the most was my so-called social life at work. Granted, my colleagues and I weren’t having parties over our desks but we did experience a somewhat daily schedule of social activity. When you are working or going to school you are with the same people day in and day out for extended period of time. Ultimately, you end up building communities and relationships within those communities. I admit there were people whom I worked with that drove me absolutely crazy. Still, more often than not friendships were formed. Over time, I would learn how each colleague liked their coffee, what perfume they wore, how they communicated and so on. In a sense, work was a home away from home.

Now that I am at home all the time, I am discovering how important it is to keep my doors open or to simply engage on the front porch. This may be an easier task for those who live on Main Street or in a close-knit neighborhood, but for someone like myself who’s surrounded by trees, a few very quiet neighbors, and no front porch, more creative strategies are needed.

These days it’s so easy to socialize online through places like Facebook, Twitter, and even blogs, but in the end nothing compares to good old face to face communication. It’s even more tempting when you’re at home most of the time. So what’s a mom to do when she’s got young ones straddling along? Be creative, simple, and be consistent. At least that’s my motto. For example, everyday Caroline and I go to the gym, where I workout and she plays in the childcare area. At first this was a seemingly impossible task. She was less than trilled about being left behind with strangers. But I was determined, so we kept going everyday and giving it a try. Through our attempts we became familiar with all the staff at the gym and especially with the Childcare workers. We began to form relationships with them as they helped us find ways to become more familiar with the gym and play area. And what do you know? She now LOVES going. What were once strangers are now our friends.

I’m reminded of a local grocery store that was in the town Alison and I grew up in. It was the main store where everyone went to buy miscellaneous items throughout the week, though the meat department was the real star. Anyhow, this market was where you’d hear about the day’s news and even more importantly the gossip. It was the front porch in town.

We all have our little worlds or communities where we are part of a larger, often deeply connected force such as our families, circle of friends, or places of worship. But the front porch doesn’t necessary include these members. A front porch is where we meet strangers who aren’t usually part of our immediate world. Sometimes it’s the mail-carrier, a clerk at the local grocery store, or the attendant at the gas station.

I have a friend who found her front porch at the local gas station. She use to just pay at the pump and then take off. But one day she didn’t have her credit card on her and so had to go inside to pay with cash. What she discovered was a young man behind the counter who happen to know the name of every customer that came in. She now takes her children in every time to pay, explaining, “it takes a few minutes out of our already busy schedule, but the kids love it.” By not rushing off and taking a few minutes to open a door and sit on the front porch in the figurative sense, her children have discovered a friend. As she puts it, “So what if we’re making friends with the clerk at the gas station. They’ve learned about the country he’s from and how hard he and his family work to support themselves. It’s a part of the world that they wouldn’t normally see if we just simply paid outside and took off.”

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