Snow Day
January 24th, 2012 by AlisonTrusting our mothering intuition
January 18th, 2012 by Alison
Mom and Shi sleeping
“One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is teaching them to listen to their intuition by learning to listen to our own”
I really look forward to getting the mail each day during the winter months. It give me a reason to take the girls outside each day even if it is just for a few moments. This week Natural Life magazine arrived and I was delighted by the headline articles. One of the past issues highlighted the importance of trusting our mothering intuition, something which I had struggled with myself as a new mom. As the article mentions ” Women are often torn between their intuition and the societal messages they receive about how to care for their children.” I couldn’t agree more. When I had Charlotte prematurely, I was inundated with the procedures and protocol of the NICU, which is in stark contrast of many of my thoughts about mothering. Charlotte came home after two weeks and I felt lost, helpless and struggled to find my own mothering instincts to help guide me in caring for her. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of societal messages about what I should and shouldn’t do with her and eventually Mothering Magazine became by life jacket. So often, I didn’t know whether to trust my heart or turn to the internet for an answer to my questions. Some of the basic questions after a baby is born such as: How often to feed her? where should she sleep? how often should I wear her? what vaccines should she get? can cause any new mom to feel anxious and overwhelmed. And what I learned is to Trust Yourself!
“The fact that we are constantly being reminded to ‘ask the expert’ or to make sure every choice we make has been cleared by our doctor does not serve our children well” While in the NICU we were discouraged to sleep with our new and tiny daughter, Charlotte. I hadn’t make up my mind about cosleeping but something about the idea of sleeping with Charlotte just felt right. When we brought her home that first night in January, I was so worried about sleeping with her because of the advice from the ‘experts’ not to that I tried to put her in a co-sleeper with my hand on her chest. After about an hour of sleeping Charlotte woke up and I pulled her into bed and curled up next to her for the rest of the night. After that night I never looked back and we co-slept with her for a year. Many night she would start out in her crib and then by the first wake up we would gladly bring her into our bed. My co-sleeping experience with Charlotte is just one of the many things I struggled with as a new mom – do I go with my “gut feeling” which said to co-sleep or go with the expert advice and keep her out of my bed? I chose the former. I do turn to experts and doctors for many questions but I also look deep into my own soul and heart to help guide me as a mother. In our society of instant answer and expert options, it is so easy to think we always have to turn to others for answers to our mothering questions. In fact, some of the best decisions and advice we can get from trusting ourselves, our intuition and the advice and help from our mommy friends!
I would love to hear your stories of when you trusted your own mothering intuition to help guide you as a mom!
Beautiful moment
January 13th, 2012 by AlisonLast night John had a work event that went late into the evening (he didn’t get home until 10pm). I was left to do bedtime alone, which usually isn’t a problem, but last night Lillian wasn’t feeling well because of a cold she is trying to fight. I did everything to try and schedule the night and bedtime routine so everything would go smoothly. I had dinner ready and on the table at 5:30, bathtime followed at 6:15 and Charlotte watched an episode of Cat and the Hat while I nursed and put Lillian to bed. With Lillian sound asleep, I curled up next to Charlotte, finished watching her DVD and started to read the books she had chosen for bed – Wide Mouth Frog and Circus Ship. No sooner had we started reading than Lillian awoke coughing and crying. I put pause on the reading, went into Lillian’s room while Charlotte patiently waited for me and nursed her again to sleep. Ok back to Charlotte to finish the stories. By this point it was already getting late, I hadn’t had dinner and there was a huge pile of laundry to be folded and a dishwasher full of clean dishes to be put away. I was able to get away with reading one book before laying with Charlotte while she tried to fall asleep. After about 15 minutes I slipped away and flopped onto my bed trying to muster a little bit of energy to start the nighttime chores. Seconds later I heard Lillian cough followed by crying and Charlotte asking for water. I picked up Lillian, walked into Charlotte’s room and said “Would you like to sleep in mama’s bed tonight” to which I knew the answer would be an enthusiastic “Yes!” I turned down my bed put Charlotte on one side, Lillian on the other and we dozed. The laundry needed to be folded, the dishes needed to be put away and I needed some dinner, but in that beautiful moment with my girls in my arms, I just didn’t care. The laundry and dishes could wait and once John got home he could bring me up a bowl of cereal. Before settling everyone down for a long winter’s nap, I took a quick photo to capture the beauty of the moment.
Bedtime in Mama's bed!
Sisters
January 10th, 2012 by Alison
Baby Catcher
January 5th, 2012 by Alison
“Each time she knelt to “catch” another wriggling baby — nearly three thousand times during her remarkable career — California midwife Peggy Vincent paid homage to the moment when pain bows to joy and the world makes way for one more. With every birth, she encounters another woman-turned-goddess” – Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent
When I picked up with book I couldn’t put it down! I would get excited when Lillian was taking a long time to fall asleep so that I could sit in her warm room and rock her while I continued reading Baby Catcher. I fell in love with Peggy Vincent’s account of the women whose babies she delivered. I am a birth story junkie! I love to hear my friends recount their birth stories. The wonder, amazement and pure joy birth can only be best told by a midwife or mother. In the past two weeks I have stayed up way past my bedtime watching Lillian asleep next to me in our king bed just so I could read another page of this wonderful book. Birth stories have a way of bringing people together, even bringing complete strangers together in conversation, laughs and tears. When I was in Berkeley, I met a wonderful mom at the playground just days before her second daughter arrived. We started talking and immediately jumped into sharing our birth stories and not long afterwards email address and phone numbers were exchanged. I cherish the birth stories of my friends and find strength and inspiration in stories in Baby Catcher. Peggy Vincent’s account of her midwife birth stories are like beautiful squares on a tapestry, woven together with a common thread.
A New Year
January 2nd, 2012 by AlisonChristmas is over, we have celebrated the new year and today I gathered the energy to take down the decorations and the tree. There is a certain sadness that hangs in the air like early morning fog across the cranberry bogs when I take down the decorations. I always feel a little depressed when the holidays are over. I’ve planned and celebrate two parties for Charlotte, one for my mom, participated in cookie exchanges, hosted Christmas eve , enjoyed Christmas with all the trimmings, traveled to Ohio to see John’s family and celebrated New Years and now it is over. I arrived home from Ohio yesterday and with the house still glowing with Christmas decor, I made the push today to take it all down, pack the boxes full and store them up in my attic for another 11 months. This new year brings with it a wonder and excitement. My parents’ health is good, John is commuting to Cambridge and not Calgary, my sister is buying her first home, we have expanded our family this past summer and are so thrilled to be a family of four. As always, I’ve decided to start my year with a few new year resolutions scribed into my little pink notebook. Here are a few notable ones:
1) Cooking at least two recipes from Julia Child’s cookbook (a christmas gift)
2) Cooking cheddar scallions scones from the Flour bakery cookbook (christmas gift from John)
3) Become a La Leche League leader for the south shore
4) Start steps to becoming a birth doula (taking a fall class in MA and reading doula starter books)
5) Continue to find new ways to increase my local food consumption
6) Take pottery lessons at the local pottery shop
7) Continue to learn to be more patient ; )
Take a Hot Yoga class
9) Learn the art of simplifing my life
10) Run the Brooklyn NY half marathon again
What are your new year resolutions?
Christmas cheer
December 27th, 2011 by AlisonThis year Christmas was simply perfect! Most years it is wonderful but this year I’d put the label of perfect on the day. Both of my parents are in good health, which hasn’t been the case since 2008 and everyone in my immediate family, John, Charlotte, Lillian, Abs, Brian, Mom, Dad and Nina were sniffles free! John and I hosted my parents on Christmas eve to a clam chowder and lobster dinner by candlelight and a toasty fire place fire. Dad read the night before Christmas, an 30 year tradition, to my two girls before tucking Charlotte into bed. Christmas morning we ran down the stairs to see the gifts santa left and gathered around our tree opening a few gifts. All in our Pjs, we loaded the girls and macie into the car and drove to my folks for the traditional christmas morning breakfast and gift opening. Santa also visited Nani’s house (my mom) and Charlotte was beyond excited by the wooden Tidmouth Shed, train shed left under the tree. Warm wassle, coffee and Nina’s Scandinavian toast are a few of the breakfast favorites enjoyed by our family. Abbie and Brian arrived later in the morning to enjoy Christmas dinner at the Gilmore’s. It was a beautiful day filled with joy, family, laughter, giving and love. This year truly was a very Merry Christmas!
Happy Birthday Charlotte
December 23rd, 2011 by AlisonMy dearest Charlotte,
There are simply no words I have that could explain just how much I love you! Three years ago today, you entered my life and from that moment, at 4:10 p.m., I fell in love with the most beautiful daughter. In the instant that you arrived, my life was changed forever and I, your mama, became the happiest women in the world. Holding your tiny body for the first time that afternoon was the best moment of my life and looking into your sweet face, I knew you would be the most amazing daughter. Over the past three year, you have filled my life with incredible joy, making even the smallest moments simply wonderful. Everyday I’m thankful that you are my daughter and I am your mom. You fill my life with such joy! I love you so very much my sweet, beautiful daughter.
I love you, I love you, I love you
Love,
Mom
Just as we are
December 18th, 2011 by Alison
The girls are asleep, I’m sitting in my flannel PJs under my warmest down comforter listening to Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker on the iPod, wishing I was dancing on stage with some of the world’s best ballerina. John is sitting next to me reading and I can’t help but feel the urge to blog! I rarely get a moment to myself with two little ones in the house and it feels so wonderful when they are both asleep and I can be left alone to my thoughts. Not often, but occasionally, I find time to take a bath tonight was one of those nights. I was totally relaxed in the warm tub, face and body washed enjoying the warmth of the bath. I jumped out to let Charlotte and Lillian take a turn. Lillian played with the few bath toys we have, splashing water at Charlotte! Both girls laughing at each other while I played tea party and coffee shop with Charlotte. After singing our bath song, drying off with warm PJs on, I finally had a chance to look in the mirror and to my horror I had smears of black mascara under my eyes from washing my face! It was then that I realized my girls love me just as I am with smeared black mascara under my eyes and all!
Our children are amazing, they can look past all our imperfection, all our issues and love us with such purity seeing our most beautiful qualities. They love our songs even it we are out of key, they love our stories even if we aren’t trained story tellers, they love our homemade cooking even if we aren’t culinary masters and they love our dancing even if we are not ballerinas. They can see past all our oddities, all the less than perfect parts of ourselves to appreciate all that we have to offer. They love us just as we are.
When work offers the very best for mom
December 12th, 2011 by RevelIt’s really unfortunate that many working mothers find themselves having to balance their professional and personal lives on a very thin line. This can be extra stressful when working in a male dominated career. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was the only female in my department. While I enjoyed working with all the guys, they certainly couldn’t sympathize with being pregnant nor the decision I made to become a stay at home mom. While we mostly hear about how difficult work places can be for mothers, especially ones with young children, there are some that go out of their way to make sure mom is happy. Here’s an incredible and unexpected account of what it’s like to work at one male dominated work place.